Adversity… It is a big word. In fact, nobody wants it. But it happens… Even the richest person in this planet has troubles and somehow meets it every now and then. Perhaps the only difference between rich and poor people is that rich people have the money to either buy the solution or use their money to escape the issues at hand, whereas poor people have either slim exit doors or none at all.
Retreat! In the school where I teach…we have this annual activity so that teachers and other school personnel will pause from work and will have their soul [and spirit] be refreshed… This is my first time to join though [all fulltime teachers are required to attend] …
Our retreat this year was scheduled last September 1-3, 2011 at St. Benedict Priory Retreat house at Ulas, Davao City. Classes were suspended on those dates…
Our call time was 7 am at the Marist Gate… the bus left around 7:45… and we arrived around 10 am …t’was almost a 3-hour travel… the 1st session started around 3 pm
In between sessions… I sneaked back to my room– which I shared with my co-teach, to study my lesson, I’d an exam yesterday in my grad school (EDL 201 subject)… As planned, I went straight to class from the retreat house that Saturday morning. BTW, the retreat ended that Friday evening— with a film showing about the life of St. Peter.
Even if I was not fully focused in the retreat since I had been studying… I could say that it was worth it. I had a great time….and the best thing about this activity was being able to share my vision and mission in life… Here’s what I shared to my colleagues and retreat master
Vision: To honor God and be a committed follower of Christ (following the Mt. 28:19)
Mission: To do my God-given role as a wife, mom, daughter, sister, christian, teacher, and community member… To serve my husband, my children, my mom, my sister, my church, my school, and my neighbor like how Jesus served the world.
To please God and to glorify Him in everything I do
To have the mindset of Christ, the WWJD-mindset, in all circumstances… bearing in mind Galatians 6:9 “Let’s not stop in doing good…”
For some, it might be an ideal vision and a difficult mission, which may be far from reality…but I know that it is the will of God…and He has sent me a Helper, the Holy Spirit, so that I will be strengthened…and I know that by the grace of God…He will accomplish the good work He has started in me. To God be the glory!
P.S. Here’s how my bed looked like in between sessions…
I have written in my previous entry about our church’s attempt for the Guinness World Record ~ GWR, for Most Languages Sung in a Song by Multiple Singers. I have blogged about this one but this time I would just like to confirm that we made it!
I was there… and I was part of this world record.
Just borrowing this title from the movie… I could not think of a better one. Anyway… this blog is not about dancing… my thoughts just toyed on service.
Service is defined as an act of assistance or benefit; a favor. At church, we serve. We do this not to please man, or get favor in return, or get the spotlight. We serve because we want to honor and glorify God. Each one has a ministry that every church member assists. I, for one, serve the Kids Church/ Ministry. I teach the Preteens group. I make sure that every Sunday, there is a teacher that will handle the class. I have to remind them of their schedules, and give the teachers their lessons.
Last Sunday, I was asked by the other ministry who handles the Sunday Service [Service here means public worship that our church does every week] to partner with Ptr. Joppet to welcome everyone who attends the said service. It was my third time to do it… yet I felt ill-at-ease because hosting or anything of that sort is no longer my cup of tea… [ I could recall the life of Moses, and how his wilderness experience did to his acquired skills and knowledge… that made me ~like Moses, depend on God] So despite being queasy and flighty at the same time, I did it anyway, for the love of God.
I find this film a good movie. The way it is presented… it is not churchy and preachy. Anyone could relate to marital issues in all forms.
My heart was broken because a friend of mine back home is going through a storm in her marriage… and reality bites.
But I agree with what the bishop said in the movie…
“without God as the third strand of the cord in your marriage… your marriage is not going to make it through…” well, something to that effect.
Other Best Quote from the Film:
Dave Johnson: Down through history men have always been measured by how hard they work and cultivated, how well the protected their wife and children. In the old days woman saw their man as conquerors, providers, heroes. But somewhere along the line that change, woman started to became their own hero, maybe it was because their man forgot to be relic or because woman don’t want to be protected anymore or maybe woman had to be their own hero because of the pain they had to endure in life. But whatever the cause, the world took away a man’s reason for being a man. It told him he wasn’t important anymore and when that happened, it turn the whole world upside down.
I was not able to update my blog for quite sometime… this is not because I am busy at work. In fact I vacationed myself from work for two weeks now- well most of my workload I dispatched except for a few articles to write. So what happened? I got burnout. From there, I am feeling a lot of physical symptoms that truly challenged my health. During those times, I was brought to the hospital for difficulty of breathing, chest pain, numbness and severe headache. My nerves were all shaking and i could not help myself but cried. It took me awhile to accept that I am actually experiencing depression…God knows to what degree. There were psychological struggles like fear of things. My emotions are unstable and I am overwhelmed by the feeling of rejection.
I am trying to recall what brought me into this condition but my mind shuts me down. And i could feel my nerves trembling inside. I must have been in pain, hurt and wounded for quite a long time. Though I have ignored the actual blows of those pain, subconsciously it has been eating me inside… so this is what I got.
I am told to release all those burdens. But I do not know how. I am not the type of person who loves to talk about my inner feelings. I tend to shut myself out if I feel threatened, or abused, or oppressed. I tend to cope up – so I thought that I am- by isolating myself away from anyone or anything that is harming me.
My immediate resolution now is to talk slowly about it in my blog… from time to time…Yes I will talk.
My whole week was too stressful…my kids got sick. My youngest, Zoe, has been sick thrice already for this quarter alone. He had German measles, then nasal infections, and now amoeba and UTI. My only daughter has stomach flu. Then today my eldest son who had recently been operated on is having fever. All three are sick this week.
If I can only carry their illnesses instead… I would do that. And then… I came to realize that Jesus did that. He carried all our sin… He bore the cross that symbolizes the sins of the world… every single sin. He took the penalty of death so that we can have life in His name. By His blood Jesus paid the price for our transgression…
Back to my children, I saw how my kids wailed each time a needle pricks their finger. And I cant simply look at it bravely. It hurts me more hearing them cry in pain and helpless. If only there’s another way other than those needles, I am gonna take that option. But there was no other means, the only way to get the cure is to submit to the process of laboratory tests. And needles are no exemption.
Looking at my kids and realizing my powerlessness, I could only imagine the agony of God seeing His innocent Son bearing it all. I am sure there is no word that can describe how crush God’s heart would be at the sight of the most painful and shameful death that Jesus went through. Though He is God, He let things happened because He knew it was best for us. His unconditional love is amazing. It is so hard to comprehend.
My feelings of seeing my kids twinged may be not comparable to the hurt that God felt at that time. I can only draw a little analogy of both scenario and how apt it is to present it in this time of lent. I can only praise God for His Love for us.
God is always pleased when we are dependent on His will. Jesus commanded us to seek God first. Paul also taught us to do the same. In the Old Testament, when Abraham depended on God, the Lord credited it to Abraham as righteousness.
Being dependent to the Lord requires total obedience. You can never be dependent unless you obey what he says. One can not exist without the other.
As a child of God, He expects us to call upon His Name, not only when we got MAYDAY in our lives but also in normal days we have.
It is not in the storms of our lives that we fail to be dependent on God, in fact, we cling to God. We hold on to Him in hard grip. It is in the stillness and calm moment that we fail to recognize the existence of God and our relationship to Him.
We tend to take over the steering wheel. Take note! He will never argue on us. He allowed us to do what we like to do. God will never take away the “WILL” that He gave us. But never forget that it is at this time that God gives us hard lesson. That at the end of your willful disobedience to Him, you will always go back to Him and say “YES, LORD! You always know what’s best for me because your ways are higher than mine.”
To avoid hard lesson, we only need to OBEY and be DEPENDENT in our God.